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Being a woman, in general, is hard, but being a strong woman is even harder.
A strong woman has experienced heartache in the deepest of ways, and no one will ever know.
Because she gets dressed every morning in her best attire. In clothes that don’t have to hug every curve because she is confident in her overall beauty.
She knows she can command respect and admiration just by being herself.
She does her hair just how she likes it, she either gets it done on schedule every few weeks, or she struts out into the world with whatever style she is confident in.
She is poised and ready to tackle each day with newness and determination.
Throughout the day, she laughs and speaks to people with respect and attentiveness.
However, most times she is often overlooked, and not seen as strong at all because regardless of what is going on, on the outside, she remains the same.
She is constantly asked for her advice, or her support, all the while never asking for any herself, and no one thinks she needs it.
Men pay her attention, sure, she’s used to the simple compliments and the invitations that only have one kind of ending. She never chases or pursues, she simply lives and what comes, comes. She’s used to saying no because it’s easy to say no to the same type of man. She always says no until one decides to be different.
A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. -Eleanor Roosevelt
This one man could say something she’s never heard before or something she has but in a genuine way.
He could simply make her feel noticed, make her feel needed and she’ll give him a chance.
But this man may have insecurities that don’t come to light until she falls for him.
This strong woman now bears the overwhelming insecurities of both herself and her man.
If she loves him, she may let him sleep on her couch while he looks for a job, or drive him to work or school.
Because this man- this man is different, and she knows he’ll give it all back to her ten times over. She believes she deserves it and she believes in him.
Until he doesn’t.
Fast forward a year later, and he’s nothing like what she thought, and she finds herself being taken advantage of by the person that she thought really understood her needs.Just because you are a strong, independent, successful woman, doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes. Click To Tweet
Many women find themselves in this position or one similar, every day.
Many successful women draw in men that may be at a successful point in their lives as well, or using temporary success as a hook, to pull strong women out of the water.
Often times, these men can make women feel insecure about their success and overall strength.
There was a study conducted called ‘Gender Differences in Implicit Self-Esteem Following a Romantic Partner’s Success or Failure’ which tries to provide insight on why a woman’s success can sometimes harm their relationships.
A successful woman is one that can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her. Click To Tweet
“When asked to make predictions about the future of the relationship, these were pushed in opposite directions for men and women. When women thought about a time that their partner succeeded, there was a trend in the direction of being more optimistic, than when they thought about a time that their companion failed. On the other hand, when men thought about a time that their partner succeeded, there was a trend in the direction of being less optimistic about the future of the relationship, than when they thought about when their companion failed.” (Quoted from PsychologyToday’s Article: “Is Female Success Bad for Romantic Relationships?”)
Sometimes the men strong women let into their lives show their weaknesses by hating on their strengths.
A strong woman deserves a strong man, someone who will build her up when she’s falling apart, who will affirm her when she doubts herself and will cheer her on when she succeeds.
I say all of that to say this, just because you are a strong, independent, successful woman, doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes.
Just because you make those mistakes, doesn’t mean it’s okay to settle for mediocre when you know you deserve more.
Don’t be afraid to realize what’s happening in your relationship and make the decisions to do what’s best for you.
After all,A queen deserves a king, not a joker. Click To Tweet
So tell me, what’s your story?